The Dragonlance Nexus

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Linaras, 17th day of Darkember, 432 AC
Last Watch falling 4
The Palanthas Herald

Palanthas Under Attack From Strangely Colored Rangers

by Crown-Keeper, Staff Writer
Last Updated: Bracha, Yurthgreen 1, 419 AC

Palanthas - This just in. A strange team of brightly dressed rangers have attacked Palanthas! Not much is known about them. They all wear a different color, including pink, white, blue, red, yellow, and black. Each owns a magical animal that combine to create a colossus that was used to take down the city walls.

Some have reported hearing them yell in synch while strange inventions surely of gnomish make zoom in on their faces and they perform needless back flips and stupid poses. The people have been warned to stay clear of them.

The large colossus, called a 'Zord' by the mysterious rangers, moves extremely slow, clanks, and could explode at any moment like a gnome invention. However, the City Guard reports that the colossus has managed to successfully take down several large monsters using a large blunt sword that couldn't take down a flock of kender.

Palanthians are warned that their intelligence could severely drop after watching these strange rangers in action for more than five seconds due to some strange mental attack utilized by the strangely colored rangers. Government officials have stated that they are working on the problem. "We're working on it. We just need to find people stupid enough to actually try to fight these people." All kender have been released and are being marshaled and ready to begin hurling rocks at these so called 'Color Rangers' with their hoopaks.

One Palanthian, Colonel Kurk, was heard to say: "These Rangers are not from this world. This could seriously violate the Prime Directive. We are all in serious danger. I sure wish Spak was here." I have no idea what the prime directive is, or who Spak is but I sure hope it isn't destroyed and that Spak and his ridiculously pointy ears arrive in time to save us all, gods be willing.