Kender Wizard

by Deadorcs

As the bard in my local Dragonlance gaming group, I was obligated to come up with a song for our rather reckless Kender Wizard by the name of 'Glitterfinger.' This parody is the result of that obligation. To the tune of Pinball Wizard, with apologies to The Who.

Ever since I was a young boy,
I've entertained in halls.
From Saifhum down to Pashin
I must have played them all.
But I ain't seen nothin' like him
He's really not that tall
That short, silly Kender
Fear Glitterfinger's gall.

He stares like a statue,
Becomes silent scenery
Wiggle-ing his fingers,
Rarely are they clean.
Casts spells by intuition,
So many stunned guards fall.
That short, silly Kender
Fear Glitterfinger's gall.

He's a Kender wizard
There has to be a twist.
A Kender wizard
Just make sure he's not miffed.

How do you think he does it? I don't know!
What makes him so good?'

Ain't got no distractions
Can't hear the clashin' of swords
Don't see no armor gleamin'
Maybe he's just bored
Always gets the spell off,
Never seen him fall
That short, silly Kender
Fear Glitterfinger's gall.

I thought I was
The entertainment king
But I just handed
My will to sing to him.

Even at my favorite dweomers
He can beat my best.
Just tell him what to aim at
And he just does the rest.
He's got skinny little fingers
Never seen him fall...
That short, silly Kender
Fear Glitterfinger's gall.

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This item has been published here with permission from the author(s) and may not be reproduced without permission. This is a fan submission and its contents are completely unofficial. Some characters, places, likenesses and other names may be copyright Wizards of the Coast.